As you guys can see, on my previous post (look down! look down!), I said that I would be leaving Tabulas for a new host.... Oh well... I guess I missed Tabulas that much that I came back. So yeah... I'm back... haha. :)
Let's see... So far, nothing good happened to me. I look back and all I
see were a bunch mistakes that I have committed. All I see were things
I knew I shouldn't have done but ended up surrendering myself to them.
And why does it feel like the weight of the whole world was purposely
bestowed upon me? I hate this feeling. I'm sick of it.
Am I
still in control of my life? Sometimes, I think don't have the
authority anymore. Why did I end up with something that only takes half
of my interest (BSMMA)? And why did I end up here when I was given the
chance to go over there?! Now, I'm trapped. Nowhere to go, no one to
ask help from. I'm all alone, bearing the burden of the decisions I
made (of which I unwillingly took part). I always put up a smiling
face... hoping to forget the misery, hoping that it will act as a
temporary cure to alleviate the pain.
Is that enough to call my life a complete failure?
The uncertainty tears me apart.
I'm
close to giving up... but instincts tell me not to. Is it my because of
my stubborn nature? Is it because of my pride? or is it because I'm
afraid to let go of the only branch I'm holding on to?
Well, in my case, my life went not terribly wrong this year... the
perfect word is HORRENDOUSLY. Oh, crap! Even luck's not been on my side
lately. I hate it. Sooner or later, I'll fall into a deep case of depression. Scratch that... I'm already depressed. And now, I'm really pissed.
Right now, I want to slam my head into something hard - really hard.
Then, maybe it'll snap me out of this feeling and I'll be able to go on
with my life.
When everything in your life goes terribly wrong, HORRENDOUSLY wrong, just live with it.
What
am I to do?! Cry? Sorry to disappoint you, people. I'm not going to
cry. Not a single tear, I will shed. My life's depressing enough, thank
you very much. Plus, thinking about my past failures makes my head
spin. I still have options though (good for me):
Ah... really, Life sucks for me. It's totally unfair. Unfortunately, its what makes it perfect.
Finally! It's out! XD This drop has a lot of chibi people running around. It's so cute!
Oh!
Toshihiko has a crush on our Kobato X3!! And Fujimoto's worried about
Kobato after the soccer game XD (OTP!) ! So cute! He's really nice to
her and he blushed! Aaaaaah!
Uh-huh... this one has a lot of
SayakaFujimoto going on. and Fujimoto may be in love with
Sayaka-sensei. Nooo! CLAMP, don't break my OTP (FujiBato!)! T.T I'm not
against Sayaka, though. It's too hard for me to hate her XP!
Since
this is CLAMP, I usually expect pairings like this to come out. But I'm
still rooting for Fujimoto and Kobato as the series' OTP. I think
SayakaFujimoto is the series' equivalent for YukitoSakura like, if
there's any SayakaFujimoto, I think it's more one-sided with Fujimoto
being the Sakura (heh) and Sayaka being the Yukito (hahaha). I still
keep my hopes up since I still believe that Sayaka still loves her
ex-husband and at some point, their story will be explained and we'll
all go awww. As for
Fujimoto's feelings, just like what I said, I think his feelings are
more like Sakura's feelings for Yukito in CCS. It's him loving Sayaka
and in the end, he will eventually fall for Kobato. 
CLAMP,
hear our pleas (yes, it's 'our'. I know a lot of people also want some
FujiBato)! Let it be FujiBato in the end. Please don't break my OTP...
this post should've been posted on October 5, 2008.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Isang
bagay na 'di mo dapat gawin kapag bad trip ako: gatungan yung dahilan
ng pagiging bad trip ko. Inis ka na nga, iinisin ka pa. So hanggang
ngayon inis pa ako. Ay, ang saya! Het oang istorya:
Nagkita kami
ng mga HS friends. Bakit? Trip lang naming mamasyal. Pero isa sa mga
factors kung bakit hindi ako tumanggi nung nagyaya sila eh kasi bad
trip na ako. Umasa ako na matatanggal nung pamamasyal namin yung
pagka-bad trip ko.
Maling desisyon. Lalo akong na bad trip.
Usap-usap
lang kami sa simula. Ngayon. hindi ko alam kung bakit napunta dun sa
bagay na pinagmulan ng pagkasira ng mood ko yung usapan. Ano yon? Math.
Pinoproblema ko ang Math nung araw na yun. 'Di lang ako. Yung iba ring
kasama namin. Pero hindi ang pagpapalit ng topic ang dahilan kung bakit
ako lalong na-bad trip. Tuloy ang usapan tungkol sa nasabing topic
(like kung ano yung math ni ganyan at kung gaano kahirap... pagdating
sa akin, sinabi ko na may problema ang math ko) hanggang may sinabi
yung isa na nag-trigger ng mga nerves sa utak ko. Hayan na... nainis na
ako. At ang sinabi nya?
"Haha... Exempted ako sa math!" May kasama pang sayaw yan.
Una
sa lahat, hindi ako nainis dahil naiinggit ako sa kanya. Hindi ako
maiinggit dahil magkaiba kami ng pinapasukang school (sabihin nating
sya ay nag-aaral sa tabi ng ihawan*). Ibig sabihin magkaiba ang antas
ng pagtuturo sa pinapasukan namin (ganun naman talaga 'di ba?). Nung
naramdaman ko yung feeling ng 'inis' alam ko agad na nainis yun at
hindi inggit dahil sa para bang sinasabi nyang "Kawawa naman kayo." Para bang sinasabi nya na ang galing ko, talo ko kayo.
Alam
nya nung time na yung na bad trip ako dahil namomoroblema ako sa Math
ko.Tapos sasabihin mo yung sa harap ko, at titingin ka pa sa akin
habang sinasabi mo yun. Pasalamat ka nakauwi ka ng walang pasa.
Lalo akong na-bad trip dahil dun. Nung time na yun, pinigilan ko yung sarili kong sabihin ang mga sumusunod:
Paunawa,
ang susunod na bahagi ng blog na ito ay naglalaman ng hindi magandang
pananalita. Kung maari ay huwag ninyong sunugin ang sumulat. Maraming
salamat po.
Eto sana yung sasabihin ko sa kanya:
"Buti sa
inyo kahit pa-easy-easy nakaka exempt (kasi madalas nyang gm na
naglalaro lang sya ng mmorpg bago pumasok... walang effort... pootah).
Iginagapang namin yung sa amin eh. Dinudugo kami every after ng exam,
literal na ginagapang yung subject. Buti na lang magkaiba tayo ng
pinapasukan... para mahirap magkumpara."
May gusto pa sana akong idagdag. Kaya lang wag na lang.
Sabihin nyo na kung ano gusto nyong sabihin. Wala akong pake.
-------------------------------------------------
*sinabi
ko na yung name kung san kilala yung school. I left some clues.
Magaling ka bang maghanap?? Kung nakuha mo kung san sya nag-aaral,
please, wag mong i-post as comment dito.
May online pa ba?? Wala na siguro.
Crap. Part 1 pa lang yan. Expect a part 2 of this.
--------------------------------------------------
Hehe... I found this site while reading the Wikipedia entry on Jigoku Shoujo's third season (Yes! meron na!):
地獄通信 (Hell Correspondence)
This
site is supposedly the "Hell Correspondence" website in the anime,
Jigoku Shoujo. The site may only be accessed at midnight (00:00) by one
who harbors a desire for revenge against their tormentor. Should
someone submit the name of someone against whom they have a grudge, the
Jigoku Shōjo (Hell Girl) will offer them a straw doll with a red string
wound about its neck. If the string is pulled, she will ferry the
target of the revenge straightaway to Hell, however the client agrees
to a pact where those who request her intervention will also be sent to
hell at the end of their natural lives.
I haven't tested this though haha. I wish it works. I wanna send the bane of my existence to hell. X3
Here I am again with my vocaloid obsession. Haha! I found this "cute" video while browsing Youtube yesterday.
Chibis gone crazy
Yeah... Go on. Click the link XD
Teh Butter Fly Award
Riknata Prince awarded me with the Butterfly Award. Weeee! *clap!clap!*
Um... I think the purposeof this award is to spread the joy of blogging and warmth of friendship X3 haha. Therefore, I'm going to share this award to the following people:
1. Patricia
2. Jixcie
3. Jihad
4. Patrick
5. Maykol <haha... 'Di ko na alam itatawag ko sa kanya XD
7. Yves
8. Kellie
9. Sir Scott
10. 'Tep!
Now, the rules:
1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate 10 other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blog.
To my tagged ones:
Happy posting guys! Spread the word! Or I'll bite you! lolz
.......................
Nope, I have nothing left to say. Ja'!
----------------------------------------------
CRAP! I HAVE LOTS OF THINGS TO WRITE AND 12 PAGES TO DRAW! AAAAAAH!
Azie
O.O
'Di ko ma-describe yung emotions ko ngayon. Lalong 'di ko ma-describe kung paano ako mag-rereact.
HOMAY GAWHD!! MAG-RE-REMOVALS AKO SA CS11!
------------------------
Anyways, pagtingin ko dun sa grading sheet natulala na lang ako. Tatlo.
Tatlong orange tapos pula. Di ko tuloy alam kung matutuwa ako, maiinis
o kung ano man. Sayang nakuha ko yung parehong '50-50' mark nya sa
parehong subject. 'Di nga lang ako umabot sa 60.
Removals on Wednesday. So, help me God.
------------------------
God, pahingi po ng sign na dapat akong lumipat. Thank you.
Kung ibibigay nga talaga sa akin yung sign na yun, may tatakbuhan na ako: Arts and Animation course.
I gueess this will be my way to kill boredom thing sem break. Considering the I have nothing much to do. Ah... this is life XD.
Yesterday I finished the first two seasons of Jigoku Shoujo. I should add that the last episode of the Futakomori almost made me cry. But I liked how Ai's suffering ended through her death. It
was cool. I'm now into the episode 4 (the most recent episode aired) of
the new season: Jigoku Shoujo Mitsuganae (where Ai possessed a middle
schooler to continue the operations of Jigoku Tsushin). I might
consider writing a review for this anime.
Oh! News for the Tales of the Abyss fans there! The anime adaptation of
the game aired last October 4 (hey, it's the same airdate as Jigoku
Shoujo Mitsuganae!). They reused "Karma" (the opening song of the game)
for the anime. I liked it that way. the song is good, anyway. i don't
mind them reusing it. It will ran for 26 episodes. XD! Cool! more anime
to watch!
Azie
I should have done this last Thursday. I forgot. Haha.
So, because I am made up of molecules which are too lazy to think of
something lengthy to write right now, I'll make my review on Tsubasa
202 shorter - waaaaay shorter than my previous Tsubasa chapter reviews:
Oh! I can summarize this chapter in one sentence 8D:
"Fei Wang disappeared taking Shaoran and Watanuki was left at Yuuko's place."
Oh! And the flashbacks finally ended... and we got some answers! I'm so glad, CLAMP!
Syaoran looked really guilty with what he wished for. But what's done
is done so he couldn't do anything about it. It's good to see that even
though Wata is just his replica, he still doesn't want him to
disappear.
I loved how Yuuko covered Watanuki's ears when FWR was being a big meanie.
UGH! I hate to accept the fact that CCS!Syaoran && CCS!Sakura died.
Now it's time to find out how Syaoran's going to fix the problem he
created because of his
"I-need-to-grab-that-damn-hand-so-I-have-to-go-back-in-time" wish
without making Watanuki disappear.
--------------------------------------------------------
Now on the OAD:
The title is: Tsubasa Shunraiki (ツバサ 春雷記): Shunraiki: Thunder Record in Spring. It will be released the same time as the xxxHolic OADs: xxxHOLiC Shunmuki (xxxHOLIC 春夢記), which can be roughly translated as xxxHolic: Dream Record in Spring. (credits to the OAD website)
They're going to do Nihon arc (Kurogane's hometown) not Infinity arc.
Aw! I was looking forward to seeing Lantis, Geo, Eagle and Hikaru with
new animations! And chibi!Fay! We're going to miss his backstory! But
I'm not THAT disappointed. Just sulking haha.
I think for the arc that they are going to skip, they're going to do it
as a short flashback instead so we still have a chance to see
chibi!Fay. Haha.
what I'm looking forward in this OAD:
1. How clone!Sakura dies. I think it will be beautiful although it's
sad. I want to see how they will animate her while she dissolves into
Sakura petals.
2. clone!Syaoran's silent scream when clone!Sakura died.
3. real!Syaoran wearing clone!Syaoran's Clow country clothes. I find it
really cool~! Oh! kuro and Fay will also don their original suit from
chapter 2! Triple cool~!
4. real!Syaoran vs. clone!Syaoran.
I hope it'll be a really good one. I'm going to buy both the xxxholic && Tsubasa OADs
Lilipat ba ako?? o.0? Sabi sa akin, maraming "nagpapakamatay" makapasok lang sa UP. Nakapasok ako, fine. Nandito ako ngayon, nag-aaral sa itinuturing na "standard" ng edukasyon sa Pilipinas. Dapat matuwa ako, 'di ba? Iba kasi kapag UP, sabi nila. Bigatin ka daw kapag nandun ka. Dapat proud ka!
Ang problema? 'Di na ako masaya sa course ko. Oo, proud ako pero di ko na maramdaman yung "wave of interest" na laging nasa akin nung nasa high school pa ako (high school nasa honors list ako). Nagtataka nga ako eh. Yung programming namin nung high school una pa akong nagpapasa sa mga kaklase ko. Bakit ngayon, ni wala akong ganang gumawa? Kung gagawa man ako, 2 days before the deadline. Cramming! Araw-araw, kapag umuuwi ako, tinatamad ako. Alam kong 'di ako depressed pero parang depressed yung pakiramdam ko. Mabigat palagi. Ayoko pa naman sa lahat yung ginagawa yung bagay na wala na akong interes o ganang gawin.
Bakit nga ba ako nandun? Una sa lahat, nag-test lang ako dun for experience. Para alam ko kung ano i-eexpect ko sa ibang mga entrance exams nga university. ANG HIRAP! Paglabas ko ng testing room, lahat ng dugo ko naubos na. Tanggap ko na hindi ako makakapasok kaya 'di ako umasa. Tapos February, na-'tanga' ako nung isang tao dyan mula sa ValSci (Oo, pinariringgan kita hahaha) sinasabing pumasa daw ako. Ako naman, 'huh?'. In short, di ko naramdaman yung euphoria. Wala. Parang pumasa lang ako sa isang level sa isang computer game.
Sabi nila maraming "nagpapakamatay" makapasok lang sa UP. Hindi sumagi sa isip ko yun. Ewan ko kung bakit. Exaggerated kasi siguro. Sa lagay ko siguro, hindi ako magpapakamatay para sa UP... magpapatiwakal ako para sa course na gusto ko. Exaggerated? Siguro. Pero mas gusto ko naman pakinggan yun.
Balik sa unang tanong: Lilipat ba ako?
Sabi nila kung sa UP ka, maganda kinabukasan mo. OO, TAMA YUN! Madaling makahanap ng trabaho. OO TAMA RIN YUN! Pero paano kung labag na sa loob mo yung ginagawa mo? Maganda nga ang kinabukasan ko pero magiging masaya ba ako kung yun ang pipiliin ko? 'Di ko na alam. Sabi nila pagsisisihan ko daw kapag umalis ako dun. Siguro. Hindi ko alam. Ano nang gagawin ko?
Sa mga makakabasa, please mag-iwan po ng comment. 'Di ko na alam gagawin ko.
Thanks! Salamat ng marami!
It's not exactly new. Complexity is the latest layout I made. It's actually for my CMSC 10 presentation (which turned out well btw). It features real!Sakura && real!Syaoran along with their clone counterparts. Haha! next time, I'll do Kobato&&Fujimoto! Since they're my latest OTP 
(One True Pairing, you dummies). Oh! I updated my sidebar with stamps. I figure that it would be easier that way to tell who I am. I also added another content page (Tabulas) which features my old layouts. It's good to look back sometimes.
Oh, with regards to my previous post:
Sure na ako na lilipat ako, peeps! Although di ko pa alam kung this sem or next school year na 
. Thank you dun sa mga sumagot kagabi: Cristina, Pat, Ef (ang sipag nya XD), Yung friend ni Maykol na 'di ko kilala pero nag-comment din, Joanna, subjunctive, si Sir Claour (haha) na ngayon ngayon lang nag-salita.
Thanks, peepz!
Azie
